feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
