Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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