he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
