Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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