How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
