But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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