JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
