The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
