There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
