I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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