I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I stole a fireplace last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
