My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
