I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
