Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
