quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
