i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
