Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
