just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
