so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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