party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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