seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
