Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I cut my penus on the lid.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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