my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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