I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
