he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize