Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
