Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
