im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
