i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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