SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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