Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
