Do you still have your period?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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