i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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