that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
