I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Randomize
