This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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