how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
