For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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