Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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