we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
