I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
