I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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