I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
