so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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