I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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