I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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