"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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