So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
