Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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