Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
