I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
