i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
worst night to have a conscience
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
