I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
