the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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