I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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