oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
