Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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