he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
