the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
