I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
