I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Two words: blizzard sex
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize