Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Randomize
