Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
whose parrot is this?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Randomize
