check it out our google latitudes are spooning
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
