Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just had sex bonerless
4 words: hood of his car
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
