Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
