Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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