bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
