reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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